Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Gottman's Magic Relationship Ratio

Today's Gossip Headline Reads: Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson Splits.

Honestly, the news didn't come as a huge surprise. If you are quite familiar with the Hollywood marriage culture, you must have seen it coming. Hollywood, also called the splitsville, is known to be the Divorce Capital of the world.

Reynolds and Johansson are the latest couple to enter the Hollywood's long list of "divorced" couple. It is really unfortunate for these two love birds because they look good together. I don't know what it is with Hollywood that makes most marriage crumble down so easily. Some say its the long working hours and distance, opportunities for temptation, over inflated ego and a lot more.

The Headline made me wonder about a concept I've came across just recently: Gottman's Magic Relationship Ratio.

According to Gottman, couple who maintain a 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions usually succeed more in marriage than those couples who fall below the 1 to 1 ratio. He explained that positive interactions build up "the reservoir of positive feeling". The reservoir of positive feeling is like a filing cabinet into which couples draw "good memories" during rough days.

Gottman did not advise against the idea of conflict because conflict helps couples clear the air and work out grievances. Conflict is actually crucial to success, it can be unhealthy for couples to hold in their negative opinions, according to Gottman.

If this is true, I hope all couples will have a chance to learn about this at one point in their married life.

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